Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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