As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
