So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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