just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
