So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm at about main and main street
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize