You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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