i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
