btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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