i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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