I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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