I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my shit smells like andre
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize