summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
