apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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