he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
