literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize