Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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