This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
