We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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