i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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