just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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