I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
