i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
