Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
