so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
