i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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