it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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