I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
