actually, I'm a sock model
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
