I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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