I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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