New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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