Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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