Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
