You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
