My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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