Sponge bath it is.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
