you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can I color on your dick again?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
