heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
