And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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