But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
