My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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