he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
