There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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