I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Operation Purity has been aborted
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
