Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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