honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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