Even the bartender felt bad for me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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