he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
