Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
