Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
two words...techno handjob
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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