Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
