is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you would pick up someone in the library
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
