who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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