If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize