Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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