Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
