I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
