Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
