Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
