WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
