do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
