i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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