she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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