My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I've blown a few things in my day
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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